Bring Honor to us All
by ZeldaDweeb
Summary: A Legend of Zelda song-fic that is based on the Mulan song "Bring Honor to us All". Zelda has to meet the suitors, but she doesn't want to!


_**ZeldaDweeb: Yes. 'Tis a song-fic. **_**RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!**

_**Invisobill: Yep. She's just doing this for fun, so yeah… run. She doesn't own anything to do with Mulan or Zelda, except for the game and the video.**_

(Impa is urgently dragging a worn out and filthy looking Zelda down the dimly lit halls of the Hyrule castle)

Impa: Come on, Princess! You'll be late for the suitors!

Zelda: I don't care!

Impa: Not another word! You know you need a husband to rule beside you when you're queen, even _if _the suitors are ghastly…

Zelda: But I don't want to meet them! I want to go back and train with Link…

(They burst through Zelda's room and into the bathroom where three maids wait impatiently)

Impa: Good morning Evie, Calista, Daisy. I found her.

(Impa lets go and Evie begins examining her)

Evie: This is what you give me to work with? Well honey, I've seen worse.

(She throws Zelda behind a curtain and undresses her, tossing her into the bathtub within seconds)

Evie: We're gonna turn this sows ear into a silk purse.

Zelda: This water is freezing!

Impa: It would have been warm had you been here on time…

(Evie dumps a bucket of water on the princess)

Evie: We'll have you washed and dried, primped and polished 'till you glow with pride. Trust my recipe for instant bride, you'll bring honor to us all!

(The maids and Impa drag Zelda out of the tub and force her into a robe while seating her at her vanity. Daisy pulls at her hair while Calista works on her nails.)

Calista: Wait and see when we're through…

Daisy: Boys will gladly go to war for you..

Calista: With good fortune

Daisy: And a _great _hairdo…

Both: You'll bring honor to us all!

(Daisy and Calista finish her nails and hair and usher her out the door, through the castle and into the bustling crowd, followed by Evie and Impa.)

Crowd: Zelda can bring her family great honor in one way; by striking a good match, and this could be the day!

(They take her to a dress shop and get her dressed into an elegant outfit.)

Evie: Men want girls with good taste…

Calista: Calm

Daisy: Obedient

Evie: Who work fast paced.

Daisy: With good breeding

Calista: And a tiny waist…

All: You'll bring honor to us all!

(They step back and admire their work, then take her outside and back toward the castle)

Crowd: We all must serve Harkinian who guards us from Gannon; a man by bearing arms, a girl by bearing sons!

(They make it back to the castle and the maids are applying makeup to the princess)

All: When we're through, you can't fail, like a lotus blossom soft and pale. How can any suitor say no sale? You'll bring honor to us all!

Impa: There…you're ready.

(An older maid runs through the door)

Impa: What is it, Greta?

Greta: She's not ready yet! An apple for serenity

(She gives Zelda an apple)

Greta: A pendant for balance!

(She forces a pendant down Zeldas tight corset strings)

Greta: Beads of jade for beauty. You must proudly show it! A four leaved clover, just for luck, and even you can't blow it!

(She gives her all of the previously mentioned items)

Impa: I'll see you in the main hall in a minute. Good luck!

(She hugs Zelda and disappears in a cloud of smoke. The maids hurry Zelda out the door and she slowly makes her way to the main hall)

Zelda: Ancestors, hear my plea, help me not to make a fool of me and to not uproot my family tree. Keep my father standing tall!

(Realizing she is late, she begins to run)

Zelda: Scarier than the undertaker, I am meeting my matchmaker!

(The door to the main hall opens to reveal all the servants standing on either side of the hall and her father sitting in a throne beside her own. Link stands on his right and Impa stands on Zeldas thrones left.)

Servants: Destiny, guard this girl, and her future as it fast unfurls. Please look kindly on this cultured pearl, such a perfect porcelain doll!

(As she passes the servants, many of them speak)

Servant: Please bring honor to us

Another servant: Please bring honor to us

_Another _servant: Please bring honor to us

ANOTHER servant: Please bring honor to us

All: Please bring honor to us allllllllll!

(She takes her place at the throne and looks at her father, Impa, then Link. Her dad waves his hands and the doors open to reveal many suitors. This would be a long day.)

_**ZeldaDweeb: Yeah, yeah. I know. I should be working on The Smash Story right now instead of writing crappy song-fics, but this one has been in my head for a long time! So don't judge! :D**_

_**Invisobill: Right now, she is getting back to work on The Smash Story, so calm down! Please review and see you at the Smash Mansion!**_


End file.
